1
00:00:02,010 --> 00:00:03,130
I'll have scrambled eggs.
That's it
2
00:00:05,409 --> 00:00:06,609
Western omlette, please.
3
00:00:07,019 --> 00:00:08,219
You know what?
4
00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:09,600
Surprise me.
5
00:00:11,643 --> 00:00:13,784
What am I,
some kinda birthday party clown?
6
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,189
Come on. It'll be fun.
7
00:00:17,689 --> 00:00:20,191
Okay.
8
00:00:23,145 --> 00:00:24,779
Surprise!
9
00:00:29,699 --> 00:00:31,483
Hey, who saw Gossip Girl
last night?
10
00:00:31,484 --> 00:00:33,902
Best episode ever.
11
00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:34,953
Really? But didn't you think
it was weird
12
00:00:34,954 --> 00:00:36,522
how it just cut out
in the middle?
13
00:00:36,523 --> 00:00:39,324
It'd be great if that could
happen to this conversation.
14
00:00:39,325 --> 00:00:41,326
Wait a minute, no,
it didn't cut out.
15
00:00:41,327 --> 00:00:43,862
It ended with Dan deciding that
he was going to settle down
16
00:00:43,863 --> 00:00:47,599
and be a father...
to Georgina Spark's baby!
17
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:51,036
- Omg, that's major!
- I know, right?
18
00:00:51,037 --> 00:00:56,708
I'm sorry, am I
at a slumber party?
19
00:00:56,709 --> 00:00:58,944
Seriously, can we guy up
the verbal badminton,
20
00:00:58,945 --> 00:01:01,313
s'il vous plait?
21
00:01:01,314 --> 00:01:03,148
I don't know what happened.
22
00:01:03,149 --> 00:01:05,400
On my tv,
it went to static.
23
00:01:05,401 --> 00:01:07,402
My guess is
they disconnected your service.
24
00:01:07,403 --> 00:01:08,420
I've tried to tell Mr. Dunbar,
25
00:01:08,421 --> 00:01:10,355
now that his mother
has cut him off,
26
00:01:10,356 --> 00:01:12,758
he hast to become responsible
and pay his own bills.
27
00:01:12,759 --> 00:01:16,328
But he remains mired
in a level of denial
28
00:01:16,329 --> 00:01:19,965
not to be believed.
29
00:01:19,966 --> 00:01:22,167
Hey, what are you guys
talking about?
30
00:01:22,168 --> 00:01:24,603
Mr. Dunbar, I'm going to go
to the office right now
31
00:01:24,604 --> 00:01:25,704
and draw up a budget for you.
32
00:01:25,705 --> 00:01:26,672
We'll go over it later.
33
00:01:26,673 --> 00:01:27,973
Oh, yay.
34
00:01:27,974 --> 00:01:31,443
I get to crunch numbers
with HandrRblecch!
35
00:01:31,444 --> 00:01:35,314
They all said,
"come to America."
36
00:01:37,517 --> 00:01:39,718
Hey, what's with
this getup?
37
00:01:39,719 --> 00:01:42,054
I'm on my way uptown
to start my new job.
38
00:01:42,055 --> 00:01:43,522
Ah, it may be new to you,
but technically,
39
00:01:43,523 --> 00:01:45,490
it's the world's
oldest profession.
40
00:01:48,728 --> 00:01:51,697
He said you're
a shepherd.
41
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:57,502
I'm hostessing over
at Amybeth's kitchen.
42
00:01:57,503 --> 00:01:58,704
I think it would be
a fun thing to do
43
00:01:58,705 --> 00:01:59,972
while I figure out
what's next for me.
44
00:01:59,973 --> 00:02:01,607
Oh, hey,
did you ask 'em?
45
00:02:01,608 --> 00:02:04,076
No, no, I did not ask them
what they do
46
00:02:04,077 --> 00:02:06,211
with the leftover muffins
at the end of the day.
47
00:02:06,212 --> 00:02:08,580
Was there not a point
during the interview
48
00:02:08,581 --> 00:02:12,818
when they said,
"do you have any questions?"
49
00:02:12,819 --> 00:02:15,020
But honestly,
why be a hostess?
50
00:02:15,021 --> 00:02:16,822
I mean,
you went to a real college,
51
00:02:16,823 --> 00:02:19,725
not one of those pretend schools
that are online.
52
00:02:19,726 --> 00:02:21,860
No offense.
53
00:02:23,630 --> 00:02:26,765
None taken.
That was a tough six years.
54
00:02:26,766 --> 00:02:29,635
Being a hostess is
an honest day's work.
55
00:02:29,636 --> 00:02:30,869
There's nothing
to be ashamed of.
56
00:02:30,870 --> 00:02:32,604
You know, they bake more
than they can sell.
57
00:02:32,605 --> 00:02:38,477
That's just--
that's just business 101.
58
00:02:38,478 --> 00:02:41,613
I was defined by that job
at that magazine.
59
00:02:41,614 --> 00:02:43,815
I mean, it was
my whole identity.
60
00:02:43,816 --> 00:02:47,419
You worked at a magazine?
61
00:02:47,420 --> 00:02:48,687
Yeah, I thought it was
a furniture store.
62
00:02:48,688 --> 00:02:49,655
Yeah.
63
00:02:49,656 --> 00:02:53,992
Thank you, caring friends.
64
00:02:53,993 --> 00:02:56,695
No, at my old job I was
stuck in my office all day.
65
00:02:56,696 --> 00:02:57,930
I'm not sure where
I'm gonna end up,
66
00:02:57,931 --> 00:02:59,698
but in the meantime,
I want to be out among people,
67
00:02:59,699 --> 00:03:01,266
because I'm a real
people person.
68
00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:03,902
[Sarcastic laughter]
Okay.
69
00:03:03,903 --> 00:03:07,039
I am!
70
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,440
Right?
71
00:03:08,441 --> 00:03:09,725
They can't just
throw 'em away.
72
00:03:09,726 --> 00:03:12,077
Oh, enough with the muffins!
73
00:03:15,275 --> 00:03:18,310
♪ How many ways
to say I love you? ♪
74
00:03:20,447 --> 00:03:25,184
♪ how many ways to say
that I'm not scared ♪
75
00:03:25,185 --> 00:03:27,453
♪ with you by my side ♪
76
00:03:27,454 --> 00:03:30,089
♪ there is no denying ♪
77
00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:33,392
♪ that I can't wait
for me and you ♪
78
00:03:33,402 --> 00:03:37,402
79
00:03:37,412 --> 00:03:38,812
80
00:03:42,953 --> 00:03:45,360
And then in the fourth grade,
I went as a Power Ranger,
81
00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:48,295
and that was the year
that I got the most candy.
82
00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,630
Because there were a lot
of Power Rangers,
83
00:03:49,631 --> 00:03:53,066
so I hit the same houses,
like, two , three times.
84
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,652
The people didn't even notice.
85
00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:58,272
So that was pretty tight.
86
00:03:58,273 --> 00:03:59,873
Talk less.
87
00:03:59,874 --> 00:04:02,609
Oh, sorry.
I'm just being sociable.
88
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,978
Tell you what, you're
the understudy for the tv.
89
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:08,448
If something happens to it,
you're on.
90
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:12,252
[Telephone rings]
91
00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:14,921
Ugh.
92
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:20,227
Hi, hon.
93
00:04:20,228 --> 00:04:23,230
Okay.
94
00:04:23,231 --> 00:04:24,665
What was that?
95
00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:28,001
Oh...That's what I refer to
as the nothing call.
96
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,637
Audrey calls me to tell me
that she's almost home.
97
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:33,440
Like I won't piece it together
when she walks through the door.
98
00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:36,376
I swear, one of these days
I'm just gonna say,
99
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,979
"why the hell are you
telling me that?"
100
00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:42,382
- That sounds annoying.
- Oh, it is.
101
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,850
But it's, you know,
all part of the deal.
102
00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:46,286
What's--what's Jen's
most annoying habit?
103
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:47,954
Oh, no,
she doesn't have any.
104
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,222
She's the best.
I don't believe you.
105
00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:52,159
Well,
there's this one thing...
106
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,527
She's a knuckle cracker.
107
00:04:53,528 --> 00:04:56,997
In bed, I'll be relaxing,
on the verge of falling asleep,
108
00:04:56,998 --> 00:05:00,000
and all of a sudden it's, like,
crack, crack...Pop, pa-pop!
109
00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:02,235
You know? And I want
to say something to her,
110
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:04,237
but I'm just afraid
to hurt her feelings.
111
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:05,472
You never confront 'em
head-on.
112
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:06,540
They just get defensive.
113
00:05:06,541 --> 00:05:07,808
So what do you do?
114
00:05:07,809 --> 00:05:10,777
You ask her if
there's anything about you
115
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,346
that she'd want to change.
116
00:05:12,347 --> 00:05:14,481
She'll tell you something
that bugs her,
117
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:15,816
and you say that
you'll work on it.
118
00:05:15,817 --> 00:05:17,718
And then, inevitably,
she'll say,
119
00:05:17,719 --> 00:05:19,453
"what would you change
about me?"
120
00:05:19,454 --> 00:05:21,755
Ah...
121
00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:25,425
So she brings it on herself.
Nice.
122
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,294
I'm not new to this.
123
00:05:27,295 --> 00:05:30,697
Anyway, you say, "well,
if I had to pick something,
124
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:31,898
it'd be the knuckle cracking."
125
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,233
And that really works?
126
00:05:33,234 --> 00:05:34,935
It's worked on all
of Audrey's bad habits.
127
00:05:34,936 --> 00:05:37,904
Ehh...Except for that one.
128
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,873
Which one is that?
129
00:05:39,874 --> 00:05:41,575
[Telephone rings]
130
00:05:43,578 --> 00:05:46,546
Hey. Super.
131
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,815
Thanks for letting me know.
132
00:05:52,053 --> 00:05:53,954
Hey, I'm home.
133
00:06:01,162 --> 00:06:04,865
Okay, so you lead the guests
over to their table,
134
00:06:04,866 --> 00:06:07,334
and you say,
"enjoy your meal."
135
00:06:07,335 --> 00:06:08,368
Oh, no.
136
00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:09,603
It is a lot to remember.
137
00:06:09,604 --> 00:06:10,937
I'll get you a pen.
138
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:12,172
No, no, no.
That woman.
139
00:06:12,173 --> 00:06:13,540
I--I went to college
with her.
140
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,941
I can't let her see me
working here.
141
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:16,076
Why not?
142
00:06:16,077 --> 00:06:17,577
You know,
it's kind of humiliating.
143
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,313
No, not for you.
You're fine.
144
00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:22,616
It's just we were
really competitive.
145
00:06:22,617 --> 00:06:25,152
And I had kind of
an important job before this.
146
00:06:25,153 --> 00:06:27,804
So now my job's
not important.
147
00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:29,156
Fine, you're Hillary
freakin' Clinton, okay!
148
00:06:29,157 --> 00:06:30,490
Just cover for me.
149
00:06:33,845 --> 00:06:36,997
- Audrey.
- Oh.
150
00:06:36,998 --> 00:06:38,565
How are you?
151
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:41,034
Oh, Stephanie!
Oh, I thought that was you.
152
00:06:41,035 --> 00:06:43,003
- So what are you up to?
- Oh, you know,
153
00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:44,971
just getting my brunch on.
154
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:47,507
Um, Audrey, party of two.
155
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,576
Where's the other person?
156
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:51,144
She's on her way.
157
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,682
Whoa...Attitude!
158
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:58,785
Whatever.
She's a hostess.
159
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,921
So what are you doing
these days?
160
00:07:00,922 --> 00:07:02,322
Actually,
I just got promoted.
161
00:07:02,323 --> 00:07:04,791
I run the mentor program
at NYU.
162
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,226
Oh, wow.
163
00:07:06,227 --> 00:07:07,461
Yeah, it's kind of
a big deal.
164
00:07:07,462 --> 00:07:09,830
What about you?
Are you still with the magazine?
165
00:07:09,831 --> 00:07:11,331
Yes, I am.
166
00:07:11,332 --> 00:07:15,001
Kind of an even
bigger deal.
167
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:18,505
Here's your nametag,
Audrey.
168
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:21,808
You know, I have
a young woman in the program
169
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,477
who majored in journalism.
170
00:07:23,478 --> 00:07:25,612
Would you be up
for mentoring her?
171
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,080
Well, sure.
172
00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:31,151
I hope she's smart.
I have a lot to offer.
173
00:07:31,152 --> 00:07:35,589
So you said that you're
still working at the magazine?
174
00:07:35,590 --> 00:07:37,324
What happened to,
175
00:07:37,325 --> 00:07:39,726
"there's no shame
in being a hostess"?
176
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,962
There isn't.
It's just...
177
00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:44,331
In the time it would have taken
to explain--
178
00:07:44,332 --> 00:07:45,565
I quit.
I'm a hostess now.
179
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,534
1.4 seconds.
180
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:50,203
It's easy for you to just
sit there and take shots.
181
00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:52,806
That's why I'm doing it.
182
00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:55,008
All right,
so what's the plan, Lucy?
183
00:07:55,009 --> 00:07:57,410
Are you gonna get Ethel
to dress up as your boss?
184
00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:59,980
I'm having Julia meet me
185
00:07:59,981 --> 00:08:01,715
in the lobby
of my old building.
186
00:08:01,716 --> 00:08:04,284
- Why?
- It's what Stephanie wanted.
187
00:08:04,285 --> 00:08:06,353
I'll just make it look like
I just came down from my office,
188
00:08:06,354 --> 00:08:07,654
and I'll take her
straight to lunch.
189
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:08,855
Take her to Amybeth's.
190
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:12,459
Give her the full tour
of places you no longer work.
191
00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:14,160
Very funny.
192
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,496
Don't worry, I have this
all figured out.
193
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:18,198
I'm gonna teach her
everything I know,
194
00:08:18,199 --> 00:08:23,303
and she'll be
none the wiser.
195
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:30,577
Well, well, well...
196
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:35,682
This place is crawling
with wiener candy.
197
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:38,752
Nothing off-putting
about that, sir.
198
00:08:38,753 --> 00:08:40,320
I'm not sure you've chosen
199
00:08:40,321 --> 00:08:41,688
the best venue
in which to discuss this,
200
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,490
but I've outlined
a very basic budget.
201
00:08:43,491 --> 00:08:45,942
Ehh. Speaking of which,
202
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,227
I bet this chick in the red
could budge-it
203
00:08:47,228 --> 00:08:49,162
without even touching it,
204
00:08:49,163 --> 00:08:51,331
if you know what I mean.
205
00:08:51,332 --> 00:08:53,500
I often long
for the simpler time
206
00:08:53,501 --> 00:08:57,137
when I didn't know
what you meant.
207
00:08:57,138 --> 00:09:00,206
Barkeep, can I get
a glass of champagne
208
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:04,511
for every chick in the bar
under 110 pounds?
209
00:09:04,512 --> 00:09:06,279
Sir, do you really think
that's wise?
210
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:07,581
Oh, you know what,
you're right.
211
00:09:07,582 --> 00:09:11,518
Let's make it 115.
Don't want to offend.
212
00:09:11,519 --> 00:09:13,320
- But back to your finances.
- Yes. Here we go.
213
00:09:13,321 --> 00:09:15,889
This is what you spend
in an average night
214
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:17,424
buying women cocktails.
215
00:09:17,425 --> 00:09:19,426
- [Giggles]
You just said--
216
00:09:19,427 --> 00:09:20,927
- cocktails. Yes.
I know that word can be
217
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:24,197
broken down
with hilarious consequences.
218
00:09:24,198 --> 00:09:26,933
Now, please, sir, focus on--
- excuse me.
219
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:30,337
Hi. I just wanted to
thank you for the champagne.
220
00:09:30,338 --> 00:09:32,105
Oh, you're very welcome.
221
00:09:32,106 --> 00:09:33,273
I'm Cheyenne.
222
00:09:33,274 --> 00:09:35,008
- Oh, shy-Anne.
223
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:36,509
Well, I'm suave Russell.
224
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:39,245
[Chuckles]
That's cute.
225
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,747
No, I was born in Wyoming.
226
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:42,349
Oh, so you're
a mountain girl.
227
00:09:42,350 --> 00:09:44,150
Oh, I am.
228
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:47,053
Well, let's start
mountin', girl.
229
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:49,789
Really?
230
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,291
That's funny.
231
00:09:51,292 --> 00:09:53,026
Do you want to come join me
at my table?
232
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,494
Really?
233
00:09:54,495 --> 00:09:56,796
I'd love to.
234
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:03,903
Coming next fall
on the skankiest catch.
235
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:11,444
I mean, they call it
Sports Illustrated for Kids,
236
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:15,448
but this is every bit
as informative as the other one.
237
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,150
That's great, honey.
238
00:10:17,151 --> 00:10:20,987
Apollo ono has a cat
named icy.
239
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:23,857
I mean, that's just
good reporting.
240
00:10:23,858 --> 00:10:29,095
[Knuckles cracking]
241
00:10:31,399 --> 00:10:34,668
Hey, sweetie,
I was wondering,
242
00:10:34,669 --> 00:10:37,137
if you could change
one thing about me,
243
00:10:37,138 --> 00:10:38,405
what would it be?
244
00:10:38,406 --> 00:10:41,241
Nothing, honey.
You're perfect.
245
00:10:41,242 --> 00:10:43,343
No, no, come on.
Come on, honey.
246
00:10:43,344 --> 00:10:44,911
There's gotta be something.
247
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:47,580
Hmm. All right, well,
if I had to pick one thing...
248
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:50,016
- Yeah?
- You can be a tiny bit chatty.
249
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:53,269
- Okay. Okay.
No, that's--that's great.
250
00:10:53,270 --> 00:10:56,656
I will work on that.
251
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,992
Well, might there
be something
252
00:10:58,993 --> 00:11:00,160
that you want to ask me?
253
00:11:00,161 --> 00:11:03,797
Yeah, why are you
so chatty?
254
00:11:03,798 --> 00:11:05,732
What?
255
00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:09,369
Well, it's like...
I wake up to you talking.
256
00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:12,305
All morning, then all day,
then at night.
257
00:11:12,306 --> 00:11:14,474
You know, watching tv,
having dinner.
258
00:11:14,475 --> 00:11:16,710
Even during sex.
259
00:11:16,711 --> 00:11:18,178
And it's not even about
the sex.
260
00:11:18,179 --> 00:11:22,599
It's just random babble--
talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.
261
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:26,019
I mean, you have this need
to fill the air with noise.
262
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,555
I have literally
gone outside sometimes
263
00:11:28,556 --> 00:11:29,723
for some peace and quiet,
264
00:11:29,724 --> 00:11:32,225
and we live in the busiest city
in the world!
265
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:39,365
Wow, I guess I didn't realize
how much that bothered me.
266
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,600
Yeah.
267
00:11:40,601 --> 00:11:43,336
Thanks for letting me
get it off my chest.
268
00:11:43,337 --> 00:11:46,005
Good night, honey.
269
00:11:52,113 --> 00:11:54,547
So ultimately,
what I learned was
270
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:58,051
when you buy a used jet,
get a receipt!
271
00:11:58,052 --> 00:12:01,621
Oh, I have to use
the little girls room.
272
00:12:01,622 --> 00:12:03,089
Oh, well, wait a second.
273
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:06,025
Here, give this
to the attendant.
274
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,427
Oh, they don't have one here.
275
00:12:07,428 --> 00:12:10,997
Oh, well, just to be clear,
I'm rich.
276
00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:13,600
- Okay.
- All right.
277
00:12:13,601 --> 00:12:16,503
Ooo-wee!
278
00:12:16,504 --> 00:12:17,937
I finally get it now.
279
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,807
It's all about your lack
of self-esteem, isn't it?
280
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,909
- What is?
- Your compulsion
281
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,478
to try to win women
with lies and extravagance.
282
00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:27,147
If you had something real
to offer,
283
00:12:27,148 --> 00:12:29,349
you wouldn't need to hide
behind the expensive food
284
00:12:29,350 --> 00:12:30,483
and fancy drinks.
285
00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:34,621
Oh, really?
286
00:12:34,622 --> 00:12:36,656
I'm not hiding
behind anything.
287
00:12:36,657 --> 00:12:37,841
[Sighs]
288
00:12:37,842 --> 00:12:40,693
Who asked for your
dumb opinion anyway?
289
00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:44,063
Timmy?
290
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,132
Timmy?
291
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,703
Ah, all right.
Here we go.
292
00:13:01,803 --> 00:13:05,572
Oh...It's very dark.
293
00:13:05,573 --> 00:13:07,207
Let me get the lights.
294
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,448
Crap.
Hey, you know what,
295
00:13:14,449 --> 00:13:16,750
this is more romantic anyway.
Why don't you have a seat?
296
00:13:16,751 --> 00:13:19,386
Okay.
297
00:13:19,387 --> 00:13:22,055
[Bangs into furniture]
Aah!
298
00:13:22,056 --> 00:13:23,457
Are you okay?
299
00:13:23,458 --> 00:13:26,059
Just took a corner
of a table in the nards.
300
00:13:26,060 --> 00:13:29,997
No biggie.
301
00:13:29,998 --> 00:13:32,699
I'm just slumming it here
until my entire floor
302
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:35,202
at the Dakota is redone.
[Claps hands]
303
00:13:35,203 --> 00:13:36,803
I talked to Yoko.
304
00:13:36,804 --> 00:13:39,706
She said her and John did it--
took six months.
305
00:13:39,707 --> 00:13:42,809
But we're going on a year here.
I mean, what's up?
306
00:13:42,810 --> 00:13:45,512
Who are John and Yoko?
307
00:13:45,513 --> 00:13:49,249
Oh, I have no idea.
I'm too young.
308
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:53,287
So why don't you just
go stay on your yacht?
309
00:13:53,288 --> 00:13:56,757
It's in the yacht shop.
310
00:13:56,758 --> 00:13:58,458
And they were gonna
give me a loaner,
311
00:13:58,459 --> 00:13:59,926
but it doesn't have GPS.
312
00:13:59,927 --> 00:14:02,729
I don't want to get lost and
wind up on Gilligan's Island.
313
00:14:02,730 --> 00:14:05,632
- What's that?
- Don't ask me.
314
00:14:05,633 --> 00:14:09,069
I'm too young.
315
00:14:09,070 --> 00:14:11,038
Mmm, yeah.
316
00:14:11,039 --> 00:14:12,706
There we go.
317
00:14:12,707 --> 00:14:14,675
[Lamp switch clicking]
318
00:14:14,676 --> 00:14:17,077
Why doesn't this lamp work?
319
00:14:17,078 --> 00:14:20,330
Oh, no, you know what,
it must be a out.
320
00:14:20,331 --> 00:14:23,684
Quick, let's see
if the bed still works.
321
00:14:23,685 --> 00:14:25,319
All the other buildings
are lit up.
322
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,687
[Chuckles]
323
00:14:26,688 --> 00:14:28,488
What's going on, Russell?
324
00:14:28,489 --> 00:14:30,691
Do you not have
electricity?
325
00:14:30,692 --> 00:14:32,826
[Chuckles]
326
00:14:32,827 --> 00:14:36,029
Got a confession to make.
327
00:14:36,030 --> 00:14:38,131
I am Amish.
328
00:14:42,270 --> 00:14:44,504
Art thou shocked?
329
00:14:46,274 --> 00:14:49,710
Art thou serious?
330
00:14:49,711 --> 00:14:51,178
How dumb do you think
I am?
331
00:14:51,179 --> 00:14:54,648
Not as dumb
as I was hoping.
332
00:14:56,918 --> 00:14:59,519
All right,
here's the thing.
333
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,955
My trust fund was cut off.
334
00:15:01,956 --> 00:15:06,760
And I have not yet learned
how to fend for myself.
335
00:15:06,761 --> 00:15:09,796
But I'm sure you'll
stand by me while I learn
336
00:15:09,797 --> 00:15:13,934
because you and I, I feel,
have a real connection.
337
00:15:13,935 --> 00:15:16,069
[Door slams]
338
00:15:21,509 --> 00:15:23,377
Hey, Jeff.
I'm in the lobby.
339
00:15:23,378 --> 00:15:26,613
The girl's not here yet,
but so far, so good.
340
00:15:26,614 --> 00:15:28,281
Thanks. I need to know
where you are
341
00:15:28,282 --> 00:15:31,118
every second of every day.
342
00:15:31,119 --> 00:15:33,920
Where are you, anyway?
343
00:15:33,921 --> 00:15:36,323
Well, your other
old workplace.
344
00:15:36,324 --> 00:15:38,075
They put out a fine product.
345
00:15:38,076 --> 00:15:40,026
Oh, excuse me...
346
00:15:40,027 --> 00:15:43,864
Who do I talk to
about day-old muffins?
347
00:15:51,172 --> 00:15:52,706
[Clears throat]
Are you Julia?
348
00:15:52,707 --> 00:15:54,875
- Audrey.
- Hi.
349
00:15:54,876 --> 00:15:56,927
I just came down in the elevator
from a high-level meeting.
350
00:15:56,928 --> 00:15:58,311
Wow.
351
00:15:58,312 --> 00:16:00,480
- It's very nice to meet you.
- Oh, you too.
352
00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:02,182
I have a lot to offer.
353
00:16:02,183 --> 00:16:04,434
Great.
I want to learn everything.
354
00:16:04,435 --> 00:16:05,685
And learn, you shall.
355
00:16:05,686 --> 00:16:06,653
But I have a hankering
356
00:16:06,654 --> 00:16:07,854
for a cobb salad--
what do you say?
357
00:16:07,855 --> 00:16:10,824
Oh, yeah.
That sounds really great.
358
00:16:10,825 --> 00:16:13,059
But if it's not
too much trouble,
359
00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:15,395
I was really hoping I'd get
to see your office first.
360
00:16:15,396 --> 00:16:17,330
Oh, uh...Uh...
361
00:16:17,331 --> 00:16:19,232
It's being fumigated.
362
00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:20,900
- Oh, uh--
363
00:16:20,901 --> 00:16:25,472
- bugs. Bedbugs.
364
00:16:25,473 --> 00:16:28,208
Angry little ones.
365
00:16:31,429 --> 00:16:32,712
And what can I get you?
366
00:16:32,713 --> 00:16:35,215
- Oh, I'm good. Day-old.
Half price.
367
00:16:37,185 --> 00:16:40,320
How's your sandwich?
368
00:16:42,890 --> 00:16:46,426
So I call you chatty,
and now you're not gonna talk?
369
00:16:49,597 --> 00:16:51,698
I wouldn't have said anything
if I knew--
370
00:16:51,699 --> 00:16:55,435
- why--why are you trying
to fix this?
371
00:16:56,904 --> 00:16:59,623
Scooch.
372
00:17:01,676 --> 00:17:03,076
You were right, Timmy.
373
00:17:03,077 --> 00:17:05,912
Poor guys don't get
the hoo-hah.
374
00:17:05,913 --> 00:17:09,416
Not even close
to what I said, sir.
375
00:17:09,417 --> 00:17:11,351
I was simply telling you
not to pretend
376
00:17:11,352 --> 00:17:13,253
to be something
other than yourself.
377
00:17:13,254 --> 00:17:18,058
- Yeah, like tall
or std-free.
378
00:17:18,059 --> 00:17:20,360
Sir, you needn't wallow.
It's not as if you're penniless.
379
00:17:20,361 --> 00:17:22,095
All you need to do
is be responsible
380
00:17:22,096 --> 00:17:23,096
and pay your bills.
381
00:17:23,097 --> 00:17:27,868
I would like my gas
turned back on.
382
00:17:27,869 --> 00:17:30,136
So I can stick my head
in the oven.
383
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:35,242
Oh, my God...
384
00:17:35,243 --> 00:17:36,543
It's Gina .
Oh, crap!
385
00:17:36,544 --> 00:17:39,145
She publishes your magazine
and so many others.
386
00:17:39,146 --> 00:17:40,714
Do you think there's a chance
I could meet her?
387
00:17:40,715 --> 00:17:41,981
She's very busy,
388
00:17:41,982 --> 00:17:43,250
but I will tell her
you say hi.
389
00:17:43,251 --> 00:17:45,085
Now, about that cobb salad.
Miss ?
390
00:17:45,086 --> 00:17:47,621
[Tense whisper]
What are you doing? Shut up!
391
00:17:47,622 --> 00:17:50,006
- Can I help you?
- Hi, Gina.
392
00:17:50,007 --> 00:17:52,375
This is Julia.
I'm mentoring her.
393
00:17:52,376 --> 00:17:54,561
And you are?
394
00:17:54,562 --> 00:17:56,863
Audrey Bingham.
395
00:17:56,864 --> 00:17:58,665
I was assistant editor
of Indoor Living.
396
00:17:58,666 --> 00:18:01,167
- Was?
- Is. Am.
397
00:18:01,168 --> 00:18:02,369
Did you just start?
398
00:18:02,370 --> 00:18:04,104
No, I've worked here
for years.
399
00:18:04,105 --> 00:18:07,374
Last fall I pitched the whole
Ottoman Empire spread.
400
00:18:07,375 --> 00:18:09,676
Did we use it?
401
00:18:09,677 --> 00:18:13,346
It was the freaking cover.
402
00:18:13,347 --> 00:18:16,366
I busted my ass
on that issue,
403
00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:18,034
and you don't even remember
if we used it?
404
00:18:18,035 --> 00:18:19,286
That's how little I meant?
405
00:18:19,287 --> 00:18:22,422
- I know who you are.
- Thank you.
406
00:18:22,423 --> 00:18:24,891
You're the one
who stole the chair.
407
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,228
That was my chair.
408
00:18:28,229 --> 00:18:31,631
And you know something,
I am glad I quit.
409
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:32,899
You don't work here?
410
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:35,435
You're just putting that
together now, genius?
411
00:18:35,436 --> 00:18:38,388
Well, then,
why did you volunteer--
412
00:18:38,389 --> 00:18:40,907
Because I have a lot
to offer!
413
00:18:43,844 --> 00:18:45,445
Hey, it's me.
414
00:18:45,446 --> 00:18:47,981
I'll be home
in a few minutes.
415
00:18:47,982 --> 00:18:49,449
Because you're my husband,
416
00:18:49,450 --> 00:18:52,085
and I thought you might
be interested!
417
00:18:54,322 --> 00:18:57,424
Ahh...There you go.
418
00:19:01,862 --> 00:19:04,898
Sade and Merlot. Oh.
419
00:19:04,899 --> 00:19:06,766
Perhaps I should have been
a bit clearer, sir.
420
00:19:06,767 --> 00:19:09,002
This is merely
a work visit.
421
00:19:10,705 --> 00:19:12,205
Good one.
422
00:19:12,206 --> 00:19:16,009
Straight from
the Calcutta chuckle hut.
423
00:19:16,010 --> 00:19:17,410
So, uh, what do we do?
424
00:19:17,411 --> 00:19:19,079
Well, where are your bills?
425
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,432
I keep 'em over here.
426
00:19:29,473 --> 00:19:31,424
I couldn't be
less surprised.
427
00:19:31,425 --> 00:19:35,829
All right, well,
why don't you reach in there
428
00:19:35,830 --> 00:19:37,897
and pick one.
429
00:19:42,503 --> 00:19:45,572
What's that one for?
430
00:19:45,573 --> 00:19:50,310
[Clears throat]
Well, this one is, uh...
431
00:19:50,311 --> 00:19:55,415
Huh. This isn't a bill
at all, sir.
432
00:19:55,416 --> 00:19:57,150
It's actually a dividend check
from stocks
433
00:19:57,151 --> 00:19:58,885
that are still in your name.
- Wha-wha-what?
434
00:19:58,886 --> 00:20:00,086
Your mother must have
overlooked them.
435
00:20:00,087 --> 00:20:02,555
[Chuckles]
Really?
436
00:20:02,556 --> 00:20:04,424
Yes, and fortuitously so.
437
00:20:04,425 --> 00:20:06,125
You see, this influx
of funds,
438
00:20:06,126 --> 00:20:07,427
you'll be able to pay off
all of these bills
439
00:20:07,428 --> 00:20:09,696
and still have a little
left over for a rainy day.
440
00:20:09,697 --> 00:20:12,265
Or...
441
00:20:12,266 --> 00:20:14,734
Yeah!
[Cheers and applause]
442
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:17,504
Whoo-hoo!
I'm rich again!
443
00:20:17,505 --> 00:20:19,272
I love it!
Sir, sir,
444
00:20:19,273 --> 00:20:23,410
I implore you to--
- come on, Timmy!
445
00:20:23,411 --> 00:20:24,711
Have some fun!
446
00:20:24,712 --> 00:20:28,314
[Cheers and applause]
447
00:20:31,305 --> 00:20:33,764
I mean, "chatty"?
I just like to talk.
448
00:20:33,892 --> 00:20:35,959
You know, things occur to me,
and I want to share them.
449
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:37,728
What, am I supposed
to email her?
450
00:20:37,729 --> 00:20:39,096
I really don't think I talk
any more
451
00:20:39,097 --> 00:20:40,898
than the next guy,
you know?
452
00:20:40,899 --> 00:20:44,701
What kind of beer is this?
It's good. Mmm.
453
00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:47,437
My Uncle Roddy has
six toes.
454
00:20:47,438 --> 00:20:49,907
You stop cracking
your knuckles,
455
00:20:49,908 --> 00:20:52,809
and this one will shut up.
456
00:20:54,195 --> 00:20:57,581
457
00:20:57,631 --> 00:21:02,181
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